Beyond the Invisible
by Carol
Summary: An interlude between Possessed and Enemy of My Enemy. Darien falls apart and his friends can do nothing but watch.


Beyond the Invisible 

By Carol M.

Summary: Darien falls apart and his friends can do nothing but watch

Rating: PG for angst

Spoilers: Brother's Keeper, Possessed

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now

Note: This story is to be taken as a sort of interlude between Possessed and what I think will happen in Enemy of My Enemy. It picks up about two weeks after Possessed and ends sometime where Enemy of Enemy will begin. Sort of a fill in the time if you will. Maybe they will cover similar issues in Enemy of my Enemy, I guess we will just have to wait and see. Enjoy it, kiddies.

Darien rolled around his bare mattress in a murky haze between consciousness and unconsciousness, the kind of barely there sleep that leaves you with a head full of wool for the rest of the day. 

It had been that way for two weeks, ever since the fateful day when the monitor had failed to turn fully back to its lovely shade of emerald. Through most of Darien's adult life, his favorite color had been purple, but these days green was looking much more appealing. What he wouldn't give to see that snake on his wrist turn completely green again after a shot of counteragent. But he knew by the grim expressions that would turn up on Claire's face after each injection that that day would never come again.

With a heavy sigh, Darien fought himself out of his semi-conscious fog and rolled out of bed, his feet barely missing a pile of glass at the foot of his bed. His apartment was still a wreck from when he had trashed it weeks earlier. Why bother to clean it up? In a few weeks it wouldn't matter much anyway.

He stumbled towards the bathroom and turned on the light, wincing as the light stabbed his sensitive eyes. He raised his arm and glared at the two-toned snake that looked back at him, seeming to mock him at every turn. Six red, three green. Time for another shot. Time for more gruesome expressions from Claire. Time for another reminder that his days as a sane and healthy person were pretty much numbered.

Darien stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower, not bothering to change the temperature from cold to hot. He stood under the shower letting the cold water seep into his bones, causing pockets of goose flush to form on his skin and sending small waves of shivers through his lanky torso. 

Somehow his hand took on a life of its own and reached for the shampoo, soaking it through his hair without any of the normal zeal that Darien possessed when he washed his hair. He rinsed and then carelessly lathered soap over his body, letting the soap form little bubbly brooks near the drain. 

In another five minutes, Darien was out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair only half its normal height. He examined his face in the mirror, barely recognizing the person staring back at him who seemed to have aged ten years in as many days. His eyes were sunken behind giant black bags that made him look life some sort of demented football player. His complexion was wan and pale. His cheekbones were even more pronounced then usual do to the skipping of quite a few meals. Food was highly overrated anyway. 

He ran a hand over his jaw, feeling the sharp sting of two-day-old stubble. His eyes drifted to the razor on the sink, but his hand lacked the want to pick it up. Screw it.

Darien drifted out of his bathroom and headed to the closet, all the while stepping over broken glass, broken appliances and other remnants of his broken life. He pulled out his Barfly T-shirt and a pair of dirty jeans out of the closet. Some underwear, socks and a pair of socks completed the outfit. He slowly got dressed and then picked up his car keys, which had somehow managed to stay visible in the pile of destruction that had become his apartment. He took one last look at his mess of possessions and then ambled out the door. 

**

Claire's head flipped around from her desk as she heard the Keep door open. She watched as Darien entered the Keep and slowly stepped towards the counteragent chair, a look of both dread and fear in his eyes.

"Hey," he said softly as he sank into the chair.

"How are you doing?" she asked sympathetically as she walked to the refrigerator to retrieve his injection. She gave him a worried gaze.

Darien sighed in anger and looked away from her. "Don't do that," he said firmly.

Claire gave him a look of confusion. "Don't do what?" she asked as she retrieved the rubber strap from a drawer.

"Don't give me that look of pity, okay. Believe me, I have enough pity for myself, I don't need you doing it too," he said.

"Sorry," she whispered in a tone that barely covered up the hurt. She walked over to Darien and tied the strap around his bicep, a blue vein swelling to the surface to be poked.

Darien sighed and reached up to her with his hand, rubbing her shoulder gently. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be such a jerk," he said.

Claire smiled sadly. "I know," she said. "For what it's worth, I've been working around the clock to find some kind of answer to our rather large problem."

Darien's eyes swelled with hope. "And?" he asked.

Claire's face fell. "Nothing so far," she said grimly.

Darien's face collapsed into a heap of sadness.

"Hey, but that doesn't mean I won't find anything. We still have time, Darien," she said as she injected the counteragent into Darien's bloodstream.

The counteragent burned into his system and then began to calm his entire body. Darien and Claire's gazes drifted towards Darien's wrist, both holding their breath in anticipation. They watched as the tattoo slowly went back to green. 4 segments, 5 segments. And then it stopped.

Darien looked up at Claire in a panic. "That's it?" he cried out, barely able to contain his fear.

Claire took a deep breath, unable to look Darien in the eye. "I'm afraid so," she said sadly.

Darien's breath constricted in his chest for a few moments and he was afraid he might pass out. His body started to sway off the side of the chair.

"Whoa, Darien," yelled Claire as she quickly caught him and pushed him back safely against the chair. "Are you all right?" she asked as she felt his neck to take his pulse.

He looked up at her in a daze and took a few deep breaths. After several seconds, he nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said in a scratchy voice.

"I think you should stay here," she said as she examined him up close. "From the looks of things I'd say you could use some sleep and something to eat," she said as she ran her hands over his chest and found his ribs to be heavily pronounced.

Darien swiped at her hand and got off the chair. "No, I'm good, thanks," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Darien," Claire cried after him.

"I'll see ya later, Keep," mumbled Darien over his shoulder as he stepped out the door.

Claire sighed in frustration and looked helplessly over at the pile of test tubes and chemicals sitting on one of the tables. Everything she had to work with, but nothing was working. "Bloody hell!" she cried out as she picked up a test tube and threw it across the room. It slammed into the brick wall and shattered into a million pieces onto the floor.

"Claire, what the hell are you doing?" came the concerned voice of Bobby Hobbes from the doorway.

Claire looked up at him in surprise. "I didn't hear you come in," she said softly.

"I just got in a second ago. I saw Fawkes brooding through the halls and couldn't get a word out of him. What the hell's going on?" he asked with concern.

"It's worse," she said grimly.

"Aw man, how bad?" asked Bobby, not really wanting to know the answer.

"It only fills to five segments now," said Claire, her eyes suddenly burning. "You would think that with all my years of training and education that I could somehow fix this," she cried out. "But I can't. There's nothing. I've tried everything I can think of and nothing will work, Bobby," she said as the tears started to fall from her eyes.

Bobby stepped forward and took her in his arms. "Hey Claire, it's okay. We all know you're trying your hardest."

Claire stepped back from the hug and wiped at her eyes. "Bobby, it's not me you should be worried about, it's Darien. He's not eating, he's not sleeping. Bloody, he's barely living. I think we should go over to his apartment and force him to take it easy for awhile."

Bobby nodded. "Sounds like a good idea," he said. He cleared his throat and then gave her a determined glance. "Um, Claire, you know if there's anything you need, illegal or otherwise to help Fawkes, you can count on me. Whatever it takes, I'll beg, borrow or steal anything if it means my partner will be okay."

Claire shook her head as she gathered a few pieces of medical equipment into her medical bag. "Believe me, Bobby I wish it was that simple, but if I thought anything like that would help, I would've retrieved it myself weeks ago."

Bobby looked at his feet. "Yeah. I just wish there was something we could do for him."

Claire nodded sadly and grabbed her bag. "Let's go," she said as she walked to the door. Bobby followed behind and together they exited through the Keep door.

**

"Forgive Father, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession," murmured Darien softly through the screen of the confessional booth.

"I thought you said you wanted to meet outside these booths the next time we talked, Darien," came the voice of Father Tom through the other side of the screen..

"Yeah well, this is kind of an emergency so I figured I better take what I can get," answered Darien.

"What seems to be the problem, Darien?" asked Father Tom.

"I thinking about death," said Darien simply.

"Death? As in murder? Suicide?" asked Father Tom.

"A little bit of both," said Darien. "Look, I don't know how much Kevin told you about the gland, but uh, I'm kind of running out of time here."

"Are you dying?" asked Father Tom.

"In a manner of speaking, yes," said Darien. "Let's just say that the silver eyed guy you got to meet a few weeks ago might become a permanent part of my personality in the matter of a few more weeks."

"Are you asking my permission to end your life, Darien?" asked Father Tom with worry in his tone.

Darien sighed heavily. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just needed to talk to someone outside of my life, you know."

"That's what I'm hear for, son," said Father Tom. 

Darien cleared his throat. "There's something else."

"What is it?" asked Father Tom.

"Kevin. I've been thinking bad things about my brother. I've been angry with him and cursing his name for putting me in this situation," said Darien through a voice that was struggling to stay calm.

"So you're feeling guilty," asked Father Tom.

"Guilty, betrayed, used, you name it, I feel it," said Darien. "At this point, I just want a life, any life. Even if I'm the invisible man for the rest of my life, I don't care. I just don't want to go insane," he said through a choked voice as a few tears snaked down his cheeks..

"There's a reason for everything, Darien. Perhaps this is a test of your will," said Father Tom.

"I think my will's been tested plenty there, Father," said Darien sarcastically. "Look, what I need… I just need for you to tell me that I'm okay, that I'm not such a bad guy. I know I'm not a saint, but if I'm gonna go out either in death or in insanity, then I just want to go with a clean slate from god and…and from you."

"You already have it, Darien. I think you've spent the last year cleaning your slate, so to speak," said Father Tom.

"Oh is that what I've been doing?" mumbled Darien.

"Are you all right, Darien?" asked Father Tom.

"If you're asking if I'm gonna off myself the second I leave this booth, then the answer is no. Tomorrow, no promises," said Darien.

"I guess that has to be good enough for today," said Father Tom. "Come back and see me, okay. Anytime."

"Thanks Father Tom, for everything," said Darien as he wiped at his remaining tears. He closed the window to the confessional and slowly got out of the booth.

Father Tom waited several seconds until he heard Darien get out of the other booth, then he too stepped out of the booth. He watched Darien walk slowly out of the church, his shoulders hunched down in defeat against a backdrop of stained glass and white light. "May god be with you," whispered Father Tom.

**

"My god, it's a mess in here," said Claire as she and Bobby entered Darien's apartment. After several minutes of knocking with no answer, they had tried the handle, finding that the door was unlocked. They were greeted with the same sight that had greeted them weeks earlier when the whole mess had begun.

Bobby kneeled down on the floor and began picking up some of Darien's books. He spotted a bookcase buried under a pile of junk and fished it out of the mess. Then he began piling the books neatly in the bookcase.

Claire fetched a dustpan and broom and began sweeping up the glass that littered the floor. "This isn't good, Bobby," she said as she worked. She nodded towards the bed. "No sheets, no blanket, nothing. No wonder he hasn't been sleeping."

She set down the broom for a moment and stepped into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator door and had to close it when the smell assaulted her nostrils. "Well, it's safe to say he hasn't gone shopping lately either," she said.

A crashing sound made her look over at Bobby, who had thrown one of the books across the room. "Bobby?"

"I hate this, Claire!" shouted Bobby. "Look at this place! This isn't my partner's apartment. A stranger lives here. If I could get my hands on Arnaud for doing this to him, I would squeeze his skinny neck until his eyes popped out of his head. And Kevin. If he would have corrected the QSM when we brought him back, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"I know," said Claire as she sank to the ground. 

"What the hell are you two doing here?" asked Darien as he slammed through his door.

Claire quickly stood up. "We wanted to check up on you. Maybe get you to eat something," she said gently.

"Yeah well, I'm not hungry," said Darien coldly.

"Where you been, partner?" asked Bobby as he set down a book.

"Expelling my demons. It's a real hoot. You should give it a try sometime," said Darien. He stepped over to Bobby and began pulling the books out of the bookcase, throwing them all over the room. 

"You can take all this crap, and you can shove it. Burn it all! I'm sure as hell not going to need where I'm going!" shouted Darien. 

He then began picking up everything in sight and began throwing it around the room. Bobby and Claire could only watch in horror as their friend broke down in front of their eyes.

"Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?" shouted Darien as he threw his broken stereo across the room. "I don't want to die. I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"Darien," said Claire as she came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

He pushed her away violently, nearly sending her to the floor. "You're supposed to help me! You're the one who takes care of me! It was your job to make sure this didn't happen!" screamed Darien as tears started falling down his face. "You damn scientists. First my brother and then you!"

"Fawkes, that's enough," shouted Bobby.

"Oh and you. My partner who's supposed to watch my back. I don't see you helping me now. I don't see you finding a way out of this for me. I'm all alone here, man!" shouted Darien as he tore the mattress off his bed. "I want it all to end!" he screamed as he drove his fist through the jagged screen of his broken television.

Claire gasped as blood started pouring out of his hand.

Darien stopped short and looked at his hand in shock. Then his gaze drifted to Claire and Bobby. "I'm sorry," he sobbed softly. "I'm sorry," he said as he sank to the ground.

Claire was instantly at his side. She knelt down next to Darien and took him into her arms. Bobby disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a towel to wrap around Darien's hand.

He wrapped it around Darien's hand and then listened in horror to the sounds coming out of his partner's mouth.

"I'm so scared," sobbed Darien against Claire's shoulder. "I don't want to go crazy. I don't want to die. Please help me."

Claire started to cry against Darien's face, both their tears mingling down each other's shirts. "I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try, Darien, I promise you," she said softly.

Bobby kneeled down next to Darien and put a hand on his back. "We're gonna do everything we can for you buddy. It's not too late Fawkes. You stick with the Keep and Bobby Hobbes and you always come out on top, my friend."

Darien only shook his head and sank deeper into Claire's embrace, still sobbing his eyes out.

Claire motioned Bobby to get her medical bag. "Darien, I'm going to give you something to calm you down and help you sleep, okay," she whispered into his ear.

Darien nodded, too miserable and too tired to argue.

Bobby handed Claire the bag and Claire began sorting through it, all the while keeping a firm hand around Darien. When she found the sedative she had brought along, she filled a syringe and ejected the air bubbles. "Give me your arm, Darien," she whispered.

Darien held out his arm and Claire injected him as gently as she could. Within seconds, Darien sagged against her. "Let's get him into bed," said Claire as she and Bobby carefully transferred Darien from Claire's arms to his bed. While Claire removed Darien's shoes, Bobby went in search of a pillow and a blanket. He returned to Darien's side seconds later with a comfortable looking pillow and a gray blanket. Together, they situated Darien's head on the pillow and tucked him securely under the blanket. "Rest," whispered Claire as she gave Darien a soft kiss on the cheek and ran a hand through his messy hair.

Then she went to her medical bag and found the necessary supplies to fix Darien's injured hand.

When she was finished with Darien's hand, she stepped away from Darien and eyed Bobby with an exhausted gaze. "At least he's resting," she said.

Bobby nodded. "Let's finish cleaning up all this crap," he said as began picking up random pieces of junk. Claire nodded and joined in.

Several hours later, Darien was still asleep in his bed and Bobby and Claire had just finished picking up Darien's apartment.

Bobby sat down on the sofa and sighed heavily. "Maybe we should buy him a new TV and stereo. Maybe it'll cheer him up," he offered.

"Yeah," said Claire absentmindedly. She suddenly had the urge to go pay someone a visit. "Bobby, would you mind if I left for awhile? There's something I need to do."

"Need any help, Claire?" he asked.

"No, no, I won't be long. Just watch over Darien, all right. He should sleep for a couple more hours. I'll be back before he wakes up. Then maybe we can get him to eat something," said Claire.

"Sounds like a good idea," said Bobby. He cleared his throat and gave her an intense stare. "Keep."

"Yeah, Bobby," said Claire.

"This isn't your fault," said Bobby softly.

"I know," said Claire, looking down. "I'll be back in a little while," she said as she walked to the door.

"I'll keep Fawkes safe," said Bobby.

"Just like you always do," said Claire with a small smile as she walked out the door.

**

Claire pulled her SUV into the Francine Jefferson Memorial slowly, gazing at the hundreds of tombstones that rose from the ground. It was almost calming in a sick kind of way, a uniform of gray stone and green grass. She got out of her SUV and headed towards Kevin's plot, her hands stuck in her pockets to combat the slight chill running through the dusky air.

When she reached his tombstone, she kneeled down before it and blew a small kiss in the stone's direction. "It's been a long time Kevin. Well, not really a long time if you count that whole DNA incident. I miss you and I love you, but then you already knew that," said Claire as her eyes started to blur with tears.

"I need some help here, Kevin. I can't save him. Darien's going to be insane in a matter of weeks and I can't stop it. God, Kevin I need to stop it. For his sake, for my sake, hell for your sake," said Claire. "It's not fair, you know. You invented this thing and I got stuck with the fallout. I should be angry with you for this. Maybe I am, I don't know. Maybe I'm angry that you didn't reverse the madness when you had the chance before you killed yourself. I will never understand why you did that to your brother. I guess you had your reasons," said Claire, sighing heavily and finally letting the tears fall.

"Kevin, he needs you now. He's lost. He's hurting so badly and I just want to help him through this. I need you to tell me what to do. Please, Kevin, anything. For me and for your brother," sobbed Claire.

And suddenly, images started to fill her mind. Images of meeting Kevin, of dating him, of making love to him. Then there were images of Darien, of meeting him for the first time, of giving him his shots, of his red QSM eyes. And then there were images of Kevin in Darien's body, pictures of her and "Kevin" kissing. And finally, there was an image of Darien with silver eyes, sitting in a padded cell with a straight jacket tied firmly across his body.

And then it came to her. A solution so simple, so obvious, she felt stupid for even contemplating anything else. Arnaud. The man who had created it all. The only person alive who knew how to reverse it. He was Darien's only chance. But would the price be too high? She guessed they would all find out soon enough.

That's All Folks! 


End file.
